Sex after 40

A saw this posted today on Craigslist. It was quickly removed, but I thought it was to amazing not to share. Girls remember this.

Dear: women of the world,
I'm so f'ing tired of women who complain about sex! First off, as a guy, we've so much pressure on us to perform it's unreal! Can I get a hard on? How long can I last? Can I make her orgasm SEVERAL times? Can I stay awake afterward? WTF! Do you women realize the enormous amount of work needed to have sex, much less sex after 40?!

Let's go back to our teen yrs WHEN I COULDN'T KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF YOU! Recall when I wanted to have sex in the stairway, at the bus stop, during gym under the bleachers, after school before your parents got home, in the parked car, & I even climbed through your window at night while your family was asleep?! & THAT WAS ALL IN 1 DAY! Hell, I could last for hours, shoot my load, & be ready to go again in 15 mins! But what did I hear from you, a young, demure, selfish, cock tease?! "No, wait till tomorrow.", "Let's just cuddle.", "The cat is watching.", & the classic "Is that all you think I'm good for"!

Well, the shoe's on the other foot now & guess what? I'm tired from sheer exhaustion of chasing your cock teasing ass for the last 25 yrs! Constantly leaving me w/ "blue balls" & "whacking off" because you want me to "respect you in the morning"! Well guess what years of cock abuse has done to my sex drive?


Yes, it's your fault I've no interest in sex! Not getting any & whacking off to porn for 25 yrs has desensitized my nerve endings to the point that I feel nothing from my navel to my knees! Fantasizing about every possible way of f'ing your brains out has distorted reality for me! You walking in w/ nothing on under a fur coat pales in comparison to me fantasizing about you rimming my ass while I do you best friend in front of 18 thousand fans at the Staples Center!



It's your fault for teasing away the most potent yrs of my life. You should've taken advantage of my erections from your cat jumping on my crotch when you had the chance, but no! You wanted to just cuddle WTF?

Now, in the height of your sex drive, you want ME to pin your legs behind your ears after a long day at work, & give it to your for more than 10 times a day?! PUH-LEASE! Nope! You see, now you'll suffer the same inglorious defeat I experienced many moons ago. So go get yourself a multi-speed, gyrating, flesh feeling, thingamabob, a handful of Peter North dvds, & come up with some creative ways to sneak around the house & have yourself a little "Par-tay"! Otherwise, be prepared to wine me, dine me, take me golfing, & stroke my little ego until I'M IN THE MOOD!


And don't give me that crap about getting some "young, dumb, & full of cum" kid. I'll divorce your ass so fast your fallopians will get twisted! And afterward, I'll get the chance to re-live those glory years with some young, nubile, tight bodied, coed looking for a sugar daddy! Even if it is once a month!

So, the next time you're thinking about making some smart ass remark like, "Mr. 5 min. man", just remember that 25yrs of neglect is the reason why Mr. Willie doesn't get excited 2 see your ass anymore!