Inner Stripper

I discovered something truly amazing a few weeks ago. The portable stripper pole.

This got me thinking…There was a bar in the town where I went to college called Floyds. Floyds had two brass stripper poles on either side of a stage and girls FLOCKED to these things. They were like NY pigeons descending upon a handful of cheerios tossed to the ground. What’s more though is the fact that they all tried to out dance each other using this pole. One girl tries something a little risky and then soon the next tops here and their competitive nature kicks in and before you know it you have a crowd of girls letting out their inner stripper.

Yes, all girls have an inner stripper. It’s not that girls want to be strippers; girls just want the kind of attention that strippers get now and then. They want men to look at them and want them. Why? Because it makes them feel good. Few girls want the stigma attached to being a stripper, but occasionally they all want that kind of attention. This is where the pole comes into play. They can be out at a club with friends and the pole just happens to be there, and they can dance on that pole all night free of any stripper stigmas.

Another example of inner stripper complex can be seen on Halloween. Ever girl you see on Halloween is usually dressed like a damn slut. Again, because it’s the one night a year where they can dress as promiscuously as they want, attract the attention they want without any negative stigmas being attached.

Below is a actual account of a Halloween party in Illinois this past year:

A coincidence of almost unbelievable proportions occurred this past weekend at the Halloween Bash, an advertised Halloween costume party at High Street Bar in Duquesne, Illinois, when every single woman in attendance independently dressed as a Slut. Not a single word of communication had transpired between any of the 80 or so women, who ranged from age 18 to 28, as to what costumes they planned to wear, making the fact that every single female in attendance came to High Street Bar dressed as a Slut. Even more remarkable. According to Dr. Joel Regal, Professor of Statistics at the University of Illinois, the odds of 100% of the women at a given Halloween party all dressing as a Slut is “actually, really high. The probability is basically 1.”

So what’s the point here… if you build it they will come.

The portable stripper pole is the best party invention since beer pong. Stop and think… You are at a great house party when you walk into the living room and there is a brass pole set up. Some dance music starts blaring. You look around to see ever girl eying that pole, wondering if they should. Finally, someone breaks the ice and just grabs a hold of the pole and casually dances. Soon there is a crowd, but some one decides to raise the bar and before you know it this pole has released a crowd of competitive strippers into your party. So girls I say let that stripper out. Halloween comes once a year so buy yourself a pole and do everyone a favor.